British Blogger: Ok now listen here you dumb fockin Americans know what this is? *shows pic of bubblegum* We call this a Sniksmacksnibblebob which you uncultured fockin twats would know nothing about.
Me: Chill

lizzymercierdescloux1979:

things girls do that I love:

  • offer their friends sips of their coffee drinks without being asked
  • scratch each others back
  • say things like “smell this lotion I bought this weekend”
  • compliment each other’s eyebrows 
  • that thing when they agree with you and their eyes get really wide and they nod their head solemnly 
  • throw out each others gum wrappers or chip bags when they get up 

(via albinwonderland)

hannahlaurahierseman:

Hi, My name is Junie B. Jones. The B. stands for Beatrice, except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B. and that’s all.

(via bambidevill)

me before the college of art: i am an artist, i have a gift unlike all of those mere mortals
me after day 1 of the college of art: i am fucking trash and will probably end up sweeping the streets for a living

rawr0609:

9c9bs:

The real problem with people fussing over Pluto all the time is it represents the priorities of the public - preserving traditions rather than accepting facts. The pursuit of science is about building a sustainable catalog of truths, and there is no advantage in altering truths to appease nostalgia. 

wow

(via flamingold2)

mowilleno:

every time

(via saywhutnow)

My Dad's response to his white co-workers making fun of his accent
White Co-Worker: That's not how you say it.
My Dad: But you knew what I meant so why do you have to make a big deal out of it.
White Co-Worker: Aww come on man, it's funny, lighten up will yah Nestor?
My Dad: You know I speak 5 languages, right? How many can you speak?
White Co-Worker: Just English
My Dad: Tell me something. What does a cow say?
White Co-Worker: Moo?
My Dad: That's right, the cows in my country say that too. You know why? They can only speak one language *walks away*
White Co-Worker: *sheds white tears*
People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water.

Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)

Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”

(via artfucker1996)

(via flamingold2)

Leather jacket collar popped like antenna
Never knowing when to stop

(via andiree)